i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Randomize