Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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