I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
