As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
