I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
