I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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