but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
