Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
