just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
