i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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