as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
