never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's never too late to be topless.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
