I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize