I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
