i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
