Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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