By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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