3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
