I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
