I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
