I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
