we're blogging at a bar
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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