tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
