id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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