I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
