The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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