My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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