He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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