so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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