Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
