Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it glows. i had to have it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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