I understand Curling. That high.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
