Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
