I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
