she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize