Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
