I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
one might say we're banned from that church
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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