if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Two words: blizzard sex
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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