Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
