Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
