u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
