let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize