he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
