hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
