My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
