No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
