Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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