he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
