like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
