Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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