Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
