the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
