so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
