And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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