i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
