no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
