he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
