I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
