hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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