Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
