just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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