i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
