WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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