I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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