where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize