hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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