Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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