you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
