you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
