Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
