So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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