I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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