Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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