I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
