Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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