Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
operation have a gay friend backfired
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
