It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
