I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just want nice things and good sex
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
