I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Randomize