Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize