Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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