there's paper in my vomit.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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